Hurt Doesn’t Have to Win

Hurt is a universal experience. It comes in many forms: words spoken in anger, broken trust, loss, or even silence where love should have been. Hurt reminds us that we are human, wired for connection, and vulnerable to disappointment.

I’ve experienced hurt, and I’ve caused hurt. I take full responsibility for the pain I’ve inflicted on others. For those who have hurt me, I recognize that I cannot control their actions or choices. What’s hardest is when the hurt is intentional, repeated, and met with no remorse. It cuts deeply and leaves scars that only grace can heal.

If someone is actively hurting you, physically or emotionally, please find a safe way to remove yourself from that situation. Your well-being matters, and you deserve protection.

Please hear my heart: if you’re not in a place where you can forgive right now, or maybe ever, I understand. My goal is not to preach or pressure anyone. So, what is my goal? Simply this: to heal and to share my journey honestly. That’s it. If my story can offer hope or remind someone they’re not alone, then the pain has purpose.

Acknowledging the Pain

The first step in healing is admitting the hurt. Too often, we try to bury pain under busyness or pretend it doesn’t matter. But unacknowledged hurt festers. Naming it gives us power over it.

You may need help to work through hurt, I know I did. Having someone outside the situation, especially a trained professional, can make a big difference. If the first person you try isn’t the right fit, don’t give up. Not every personality clicks, and that’s okay. You know what you need, so keep searching until you find the right support.

Why Hurt Lingers

Hurt sticks because it touches something deeper, our sense of worth, belonging, or safety. When those are shaken, the wound feels bigger than the moment that caused it.

Maybe someone has been hurting you intentionally for years. Or maybe you’ve been a target without realizing the harm was unintentional. Either way, hurt is real, and it matters. Often, the person who hurt you has likely experienced hurt themselves. Here’s the truth: when we’ve been wounded, we have choices. We can respond in a healthy way by seeking professional help, or we can sit in the pain. When we try to handle hurt alone, isolation creeps in, and unhealthy habits often follow. Sadly, this can increase the risk of becoming the very person who harms others, just like the one who hurt us.

Turning Hurt into Growth

Pain can be a teacher. It shows us where we need healing, where we crave connection, and where grace is needed. When we process hurt with honesty and compassion, it can lead to resilience and deeper empathy.

I’m always careful about using faith-based language because I don’t believe God intends for us to simply pray and do nothing else. Prayer is powerful, but action matters too. Still, I deeply believe God gives purpose to our pain; to extend His love and compassion to others.

We need to continually turn to Him, asking Him to search our hearts and reveal what we cannot see. Jeremiah 17:9 reminds us that “the heart is deceitful above all things.” Feelings aren’t facts; they shift like the wind. That’s why turning toward God can feel hard, especially when hurt clouds our view.

Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Trusting God requires vulnerability, a risk we may resist after deep wounds. But remember this: God is not the one who hurt us. He is the One who heals us and He can heal the person who hurt us too.

Our responsibility is our relationship with Him. It’s not about what we feel; it’s about what we choose to give, how we serve, and how we stay accountable. Empathy keeps us from becoming the one who hurts others. And submission to God transforms us into servants who live with open hands and honest hearts.

This post comes from a deep and tender place in my heart. Please know, I would never minimize the hurt you’ve experienced, quite the opposite. My desire is to see healing take root in your life, just as I’m seeking it in mine.

Along this journey, I’ve discovered a few practical ways to process hurt, and yes, it truly is a journey.

Acknowledge Your Feelings
Don’t minimize or ignore what you feel. Naming your emotions, anger, sadness, disappointment, helps you begin to process them. We often move through the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It’s a challenging and exhausting process, and having professional support can make a world of difference.

Talk to Someone You Trust
Sharing your experience with a friend, family member, or counselor can provide perspective and emotional support.

Seek Professional Help if Needed
A therapist can guide you through coping strategies and help you understand patterns that may be keeping you stuck.

Set Boundaries
Protect your emotional well-being by limiting contact with people who repeatedly hurt you or create toxic environments.

Practice Self-Care
Engage in activities that restore your mind and body, exercise, journaling, creative hobbies, or simply resting.

Avoid Isolation
Hurt often makes us withdraw, but staying connected to healthy relationships is key to healing.

Channel Emotions Constructively
Use outlets like writing, art, or physical activity to release tension instead of bottling it up.

Watch for Unhealthy Coping
Avoid turning to substances, overeating, or retaliation. These may numb pain temporarily but deepen harm long-term.

Focus on Growth
Ask yourself: What can I learn from this experience? Hurt can reveal areas for personal growth and resilience.

There is hope, and there is healing. It won’t happen overnight, and it will take work, but you are worth every bit of effort it requires. Hurt does not define you, and it does not have to hold you hostage. Every step you take toward healing is a victory, no matter how small.

Your story matters. Your heart matters. And your future is bigger than your pain. Keep going, you are stronger than you think, and the best chapters of your life are still ahead.

Sandy

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting ~ Psalm 139:23-24